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A sim that is not for everybody. A smorgasbord of pleasure for train geeks. The cure for insomnia for the rest of us.

Quick question: What’s the difference between a geek and a nerd? Baffled? Try this explanation. One of them will spend copious amounts of free time immersed in the latest version of a simulator only a true geek could love: Trainz Railroad Simulator 2006.



A few years ago, I got my hands on a copy of Microsoft’s Train Simulator. It was an enjoyable simulation of driving lots of different trains along scenic routes both familiar and exotic, but as a game experience I found it stupendously underwhelming. It was total Geek City. Sales figures and the lack of a sequel from the Redmond Behemoth was all the evidence I needed to conclude that I was correct.



But some folks just don’t give up. Other developers, it seems, hungered for a piece of the train geek pie. These people were and are even bigger geeks. Where Microsoft’s game let you try your hand at being a train conductor, Trainz, from an Australian company called Auran, raised the ante. With Trainz, you have access to thousands of downloadable items called assets like animated junctions to use to construct your own railroad environments. iTrainz is a feature that enables players to converse online and even exchange trains. There are editing tools that allow you to make your own maps and print them out.



Trainz even comes with driving tutorials, and get this: Track IR support. Why such a device would be wanted inside the cabin of a train (instead of the cockpit of a jet) escapes me. Is it for situational combat awareness? I guess the virtual conductor has to keep those bogies, I mean cows, within sight.



If you are new to the Trainz series, I strongly recommend the six introductory tutorial sessions. Sessions 1 and 2 feature the British Midlands route and will teach you the “controls” and the form and function of “waybills.’ Session 3 is on Diesel Cabs and features routes in the USA. Session 4 is on Steam Engines in Outback Australia. Session 5 is on Drivers, and Session 6 on Commodities.



I have to confess that I did not find the tutorials all that useful. The instructions were difficult to understand for two reasons: first, the instructions seemed to assume a certain amount of familiarity with railroad terminology; second, and this may not come across well, but the instructor spoke with a thick accent that I think was German. As a monolingual American, I had considerable difficulty understanding half of what he was saying even when he wasn’t using railroad terminology. And what exactly are “consist” and “turnout” and “industry?” None of these words in railroad terminology means anything resembling their conventional dictionary definition.



Yet playing Trainz did give me the impression that it was probably rather popular with the geek crowd. The emphasis was on “simulating train and railroad operations.” This could have something to do with having a graphics engine that offered visuals straight out of 1999. Microsoft’s long forgotten Train Simulator had better visuals, hands down. Playing Trainz, I found myself at the controls of a PC with a $500 video card—all for graphics that reminded me of Grand Prix Legends.



But it’s the gameplay not the graphics that tends to matter more to a geek, and here Trainz delivers in spades.



Trainz enables the virtual engineer to do everything from passenger runs to freight services and railroad yard management. Player modes include Driver, Surveyor (route builder), and Trainz Exchange (new information and downloadable assets). Collectively, Driver, Surveyor and Trainz Exchange make it possible to build your own railroad experience.



Trainz is a hardcore simulation of train driving, railroad building, and railroad junction operations. It is not for noobs save those with an obsession with trains and railroads, an infinite amount of patience, and a geek-like fondness for arcane detail. For everyone else, a prison sentence might be more fun.

Review by Walter Hurdle.